Functional Idiots Podcast
The Functional Idiots Podcast is hosted by Colton and Dillon, both of whom are idiots who somehow function in everyday life. Think of it as a functional drunk, except we could fail a sobriety field test sober. They discuss the offbeat news stories of the week, but also the hard hitting stuff like, “When someone has multiple children at once, twins, triplets, etc., who is the planned child, and who is the accident child?”. They also make fun of people who can’t seem to get out of their own way in life, and bust each other’s balls along the way. If you yourself feel like a functional idiot waltzing through life, then this is the perfect podcast for you! The Functional Idiots Podcast, the dumbest two hours in podcasting!
Listen on:
Episodes
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Monday Mar 11, 2024
You want some crazy. with a side of lunacy? Then boy howdy do we have the episode for you! In this 22nd episode, you will hear about a nude cruise, balls out bowling, more pain in the ass car repairs, pornstar birthdays, more oddball addictions and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcast
My Strange Addiction Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZR5xfvP7mZ8
Sunday Feb 25, 2024
Sunday Feb 25, 2024
In this rambunctious episode, we talk about dumb customers, eating raw meats and dudes in the nude. Also, pornstar birthdays and drinking a little something something to help freshen breath, skin, and to feel more alive. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
My Strange Addiction Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jcTDWJ4FT0o
Monday Feb 19, 2024
Monday Feb 19, 2024
In this loaded episode, you will hear about Dillon's recent trip to Chicago, just to get laid. Sticking watch batteries where they don't belong, a sausage fight in Florida, along with pornstar birthdays, and the reimagined version of What Are You So Mad About? and much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Sunday Feb 11, 2024
Sunday Feb 11, 2024
Probably one of our best episode yet! In our glorious return after a 2 week absence, we talk about why we missed the last 2 weeks, along with the the struggles of using dating apps. A new format of What Are You So Mad About? hopefully to more entertain the masses. Trucker Thoughts makes a return with some hard hitting questions, and the always funny Pornstars Birthdays is here to make sure your weekends are busy. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Monday Jan 22, 2024
Monday Jan 22, 2024
Ready to laugh your ass off? Good! Because this episode is a certified banger. From debating over what the best cereals are, to Dillon's addiction to a video game, which leads to us coming up with the best porn movie name in history. You will also hear us talk about a Florida man calling in a threat, a Detroit man wanting to join the mile high club, Lake Superior State's banned words of 2024, the state of Mississippi being a pain in the ass, and so much more. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Sunday Jan 14, 2024
Sunday Jan 14, 2024
In this episode, we discuss our unpopular opinions, along with the many changes in football coaches. Dillon is on the hotseat for trivia. What Are You So Mad About makes a return after, and the ever hilarious real life GTA server never disappoints. Enjoy!
Sunday Jan 07, 2024
Sunday Jan 07, 2024
In this glorious episode, we talk about how dumb the Oklahoma Toll Road system is, and Dillon's co-worker buying and drinking breast milk. We also have some Trucker Thoughts to help give you an extra laugh, along with trivia, the Dumbassery Report, and of course, Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Sunday Dec 31, 2023
Sunday Dec 31, 2023
Happy New Year! Welcome to 2024 and episode 15 of the Functional Idiots Podcast! In this episode, Dillon is on the hot seat for trivia, we give our thoughts on GMOs in food, along with the marketing of organic foods. Am I The Asshole makes a return after a significant hiatus, and the ever popular Pornstar Birthdays is here to wrap things up. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Sunday Dec 24, 2023
Sunday Dec 24, 2023
Merry Christmas everyone! In this episode, Dillon goes on a tirade about people using public restrooms. Also, 5-Cent Advice makes a return, and a we also go over some fantastic reviews that people have left on things. I make a fool out of myself changing my trucks spark plugs, and yes, we still did pornstar birthdays. Enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Scorpions - Bonnie Grace
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Monday Dec 18, 2023
Monday Dec 18, 2023
Hello everybody! In this episode of Functional Idiots Podcast, What Are You So Mad About makes a return, as well as Pornstar Birthdays, and Master-Debaters. We also reworked some segments with some different names to reflect the shows new name, and we hope you enjoy!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Scorpions - Bonnie Grace
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow