Functional Idiots Podcast
The Functional Idiots Podcast is hosted by Colton and Dillon, both of whom are idiots who somehow function in everyday life. Think of it as a functional drunk, except we could fail a sobriety field test sober. They discuss the offbeat news stories of the week, but also the hard hitting stuff like, “When someone has multiple children at once, twins, triplets, etc., who is the planned child, and who is the accident child?”. They also make fun of people who can’t seem to get out of their own way in life, and bust each other’s balls along the way. If you yourself feel like a functional idiot waltzing through life, then this is the perfect podcast for you! The Functional Idiots Podcast, the dumbest two hours in podcasting!
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Episodes
5 days ago
5 days ago
In this episode, you react to an extreme cheapskate in Ohio who tries to still be in the dating world at the same time. We also discuss some shenanigans going on in Pennsylvania currently. Pornstar Birthdays and Functional Idiot of the Week rounds out the show after we discuss some NFL along with some very, very oddball sexual fetishes. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged an extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8Yerg78m7M&t=301s
Monday Nov 11, 2024
Monday Nov 11, 2024
In this episode, we come up with a new idea for a dildo that's going to take the world by storm. Dillon has an odd choice for comfort foods, and NASCAR has a shitstorm once again. We wrap up with pornstar birthdays, but not before talking about how the Detroit Lions are absolute animals. Enjoy!**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
2. Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
All sound effects are used under free use copyright
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Nov 04, 2024
Monday Nov 04, 2024
In the 50th episode of the Functional Idiots Podcast, and after a week absence, we talk about why there was a week absence, along with Halloween themed porn film titles. Most of the episode is dominated by our thoughts on the newest edition to the Call of Duty franchise. We finish it off with our Functional Idiots of the Week winners, but not before we do Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
2. Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
All sound effects are used under free use copyright
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Oct 21, 2024
Monday Oct 21, 2024
In this second half of the split episode 48/49, you will get both of our opinions on the recent hurricanes that have hit the United States, along with climate change as a whole. This episode also includes the pornstar birthdays, and our winners of the weekly Functional Idiot of the Week award. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
2. Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
All sound effects are used under free use copyright
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Oct 14, 2024
Monday Oct 14, 2024
In this 48th edition, and split episode, of the Functional Idiots Podcast, you will here our opinions on the Lions going beast mode against the Seahawks. Alabama really dropping the ball, and NASCAR doing NASCAR things. This is a split episode with the second half being episode 49, which will include the discussion about hurricanes and climate change. Enjoy!**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
2. Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
All sound effects are used under free use copyright
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Sep 30, 2024
Monday Sep 30, 2024
After a one-week hiatus for scheduling conflicts, the Functional Idiots return for another 2.5 hours of dumb people, controversial opinions, and all around good laughs. You will hear what the going rate for a 2-month old child is, a cat that got stuck trying to escape fat camp, a recap of the Lions season thus far, and another edition of Stupidler's List. Pornstar Birthdays brings up the rear with the winner of the Functional Idiot of the Week award. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Sep 16, 2024
Monday Sep 16, 2024
After a one-week absence, due to possibly the dumbest reason ever, Dillon explains why there wasn't an episode last week. We then discuss Leigh Diffey doing play-by-play in NASCAR, along with the X-rated monkey business. We wrap up with the funniest way to spend $1.4 million and the ever favorite, Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: Knock Out the Light - Sunbreak
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
“Banger OTW” Playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/2szZRDKwm59leFFwNrBl5M
Monday Sep 02, 2024
Monday Sep 02, 2024
Do you need to feel better about your life? Well, just give this a listen and laugh all your problems away.........at least for the next 2.5 hours. Anyways, in this 45th edition of the Functional Idiots Podcast, you will hear us discuss NFL Sunday Ticket Prices, along with our opinions on the upcoming NFL season. Also, the dummies who are on the social medias that don't understand how the economy works. We of course have the ever favorite pornstar birthdays and so much more in the episode. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on Patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidiotspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
Monday Aug 26, 2024
Monday Aug 26, 2024
Back at it again with more stupidity, just what you came for. On this splendidly idiotic episode, you will here Dillon and Colton talk about RFK Jr. dropping out of the race. Also, a woman has a real addiction problem with vapor-rub and needs a good 'bullying' segment. We wrap up with our Functional Idiots of the Week, but not before we do the ever favorite, Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
**Side Note. If you do plan to support us on patreon, DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT do it through the iOS app. Do it on the regular patreon.com/functionalidoitspodcast website or you will be dinged in extra charge every month to cover Apple's 30% fee on app store purchases. Android users are fine using the app, just all Apple users, please use the website. Thank you!**
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
*All sound effects are used under free use copyright*
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHCXVH-npkQ
Monday Aug 19, 2024
Monday Aug 19, 2024
In this rambunctious episode of the Functional Idiots Podcast, Colton and Dillon first do some housekeeping on last week's "discussion" on student loans, before rolling into someone who loves, like really really loves, soap. After that, questioning certain face mud masks, inventions in cars, and another edition of Stupidler's List. The episode wraps up with the Functional Idiots of the Week awards and the ever popular, Pornstar Birthdays. Enjoy!
Remember to “Like”, “Rate”, and “Review” our podcast! We’d also really appreciate it if you would share this podcast with people who you think would enjoy it!
Music licensed by Epidemic Sound
Intro Music: We Got the Balls - Rockin’ For Decades
Trivia Music: 1. Trapped in a Maze - Philip Ayers
2. Find My Boy and Bring Him Home - Bonnie Grace
So Mad Intro: Death and Destruction - Off Cuts
Pornstar Birthday Music: Last Move - White Bones
Outro Music: Put Me on Fire - Off Cuts
All sound effects are used under free use copyright
Email the Show: functionalidiotspodcast@gmail.com
Podcast Website: https://functionalidiotspodcast.podbean.com/
Twitter: Functional Idiots Podcast @funidiotsshow
Patreon Page: https://www.patreon.com/FunctionalIdiotsPodcastYouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@FunctionalIdiotsProductions
Video Link:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a1rpr0Afhfg
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